Monkey Men
by Red Witch
Summary: Some new visitors make the X-Men long for a good old fashioned Brotherhood attack. No such luck.


**A bunch of monkeys took off with the disclaimer saying that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters. This short fic takes place in 'regular' Evo continuity. Although it was based on something that happened in my Misfitverse series. **

**Monkey Men**

"Okay I have seen a lot of weird crazy _crap_ since I joined this outfit but this takes the cake," Logan groaned. "How did **this **happen?"

"Darned if I know," Bobby scratched his head. "But they would show up around mealtime."

There were several monkeys in X-Men uniforms. There was a giant blue gorilla, a smaller blue monkey, a chimpanzee with a visor that looked an awful lot like Cyclops. There was another female monkey with brown hair and a while streak in it. Another dark furred female monkey with long white hair and blue eyes. A large metal orangutan and a small snow monkey made of ice.

And they were all eating food and swinging from the chandelier.

"Kurt, have you and Forge been doing something this afternoon you shouldn't have?" Professor Xavier raised an eyebrow.

"We didn't do it! Honest!" Forge said. "I just came over to help fix Kurt's CD player and the next thing we knew these monkeys just showed up!"

"We are not 'monkeys'," The Cyclops Monkey snorted. "We are mutant primates! X-Monkeys!"

"Cy-Chimp, we're monkeys," The ice monkey snorted. "Deal with it. Anyone want a frozen banana?"

"No thank you," Jean sighed. "This is really…"

"Weird?" Rogue asked. The rogue monkey was on her shoulder and grooming her hair.

"Hey how come that monkey can…?" Bobby blinked.

"They have the same powers," Sam rolled his eyes. "Of course they can touch each other!"

"Just what I **always **wanted," Rogue sighed.

"Ooh! Shiny bongo!" The ice monkey happily leapt up on Xavier's head and patted his bald head. "I can see myself!"

"Hey look at the human! Look at the human!" Cy-Chimp jumped up and down and pointed at Scott. "Who wants a banana? Does the funny human want a banana?"

"You know I don't think we ever really **appreciated **the Brotherhood attacking us like they did in the old days," Scott sighed. "You think if we wrote them a note or something…?"

"Maybe get them a nice gift basket?" Bobby suggested.

"Okay we gotta get these monkeys outta here! They're shedding all over the place!" Rogue snapped. "I found blue monkey hair all over the kitchen sink!"

"Yes, it's **definitely **monkey hair," Hank gave a look to Kurt. "Right Kurt?"

"Yes, definitely the **monkeys!**" Kurt nodded enthusiastically. "Bad monkeys!"

"And FYI they're also the ones that drank your stash of beer that you keep in the refrigerator in the garage," Hank said quickly.

"And ate all your favorite cereal," Kurt added. "Bad monkeys! Very bad monkeys!"

"Okay that's it," Logan growled. A few of the monkeys had climbed on him and were trying to groom him. "GET OFF OF ME!"

"Logan…" Xavier sighed as he started chasing the monkeys around with his claws. "You can not solve every problem with your claws."

"No, but it's amazing how many I can solve with them!" Logan snapped. "Come here you little furballs!"

"Uh Logan they do have our powers you know?" Kitty said.

"So what?" Logan barked. Then he noticed the Storm Monkey's eyes glowing and the sound of thunder could be heard in the room. "Uh oh…"

FLASH!

ZAP!

WHAM!

Incredible pain and darkness hit him.

Logan opened his eyes and found himself on the couch. "Logan are you okay?" Rogue asked as she stood over him. "You've been out a long time."

"What happened?" Logan sat up. "Oh my head. I had the most whacked out dream." He saw a half eaten cookie on a nearby table. "Oh great! Kitty's been cooking hasn't she?"

"Yeah…Uh Logan…" Rogue began.

"I had the most bizarre dream! I dreamt that the Institute was infested with monkeys that had our powers and looked like us," Logan sat up and put his head in his hands.

"Imagine that. Uh Logan…" Rogue started to begin.

"You don't know how relieved I was to find out all that insanity was just a dream," Logan said. "I tell ya I was **this **close to going bananas…I mean going insane! I mean we are talking full berserker mode and blood on the walls insane."

"Really?" Rogue asked.

"Yeah," Logan sighed. "Did you want to say something Stripes?"

"Yes. I think you should go lie down in your room for a while," Rogue quickly helped him up. "And definitely stay out of the kitchen for the next couple of hours. Kitty's still baking."

"Right. The last thing I need is a relapse! Thank goodness the whole thing was just a result of the Half Pint's stupid nightmare inducing cookies," Logan staggered away.

"Yeah just a dream," Rogue said with a straight face as Logan left the room. "You go lie down Logan."

As soon as he left Cy-Chimp stuck his head in the door. "Do you have any whipped cream to go on my banana split?"

"SHUT UP!" Rogue snapped. "FORGE IS THAT STUPID MACHINE FIXED YET? AND BEAST! IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YA YOU BETTER PUT LOGAN'S BEER BACK IN THE FRIDGE RIGHT NOW!"


End file.
